Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
