is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
