Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize