hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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