ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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