ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
