marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
vagina is talking i cant
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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