i barfeds in our rink
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
