and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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