I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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