I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
