The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
