so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize