just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to sanitize my soul.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
