Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
