I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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