he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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