I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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