i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
