JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
