Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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