he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize