I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
