CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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