Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
