they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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