Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
