I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
