He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
