OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
