Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize