She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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