I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
