i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
