doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
