it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
