I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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