i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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