i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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