Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
