So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
