My room smells like vodka and shame
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
