If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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