you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize