hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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