Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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