I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
