ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
