The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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