About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
