Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
