One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
