Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize