we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
