Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
