Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
