how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
