Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
