If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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