I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize