I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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