if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
