i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
